Last night, WTHR published an interview with outgoing Marion County Prosecutor Carl Brizzi that literally made us laugh out loud. We actually thought it was a piece from The Onion.
You can read the full article and watch the interview but below is a little summary of what we thought the article should actually have said. (NOTE: This is satire, folks.)
Indianapolis – With his last day on the job Friday, Marion County Prosecutor Carl Brizzi is ready to move into his next stage of delusion and believes that people will actually pay him, of all people, to provide them legal advice and tips on reputation management.
Brizzi says he’s formed Carl Brizzi and Associates, LLC, “under the idea that bad things happen to good people. A lot of times people need help with the legal consequences, but there are also non-legal consequences.” Riiight. Most people who end up in trouble are usually minding their own business and they need a nice guy like Carl Brizzi to help clear their good name!
Brizzi was thought to be a rising star in the Republican Party after winning a second term in 2006 and being the only Republican to win in Marion County that year. As it turned out, Brizzi was about to experience a very public implosion and permanently ruin any chance of running for office or being respected in Indianapolis ever again.
Brizzi had some problematic real estate deals, plea deals for defense attorney friends, and many other questionable situations. He also was good friends with Tim Durham whose businesses were raided by the FBI and is a part of an ongoing investigation. Brizzi also sat on Durham’s Fair Finance Board for a few weeks which was a really big mistake. Republican leaders asked Brizzi not to run for office and eventually even asked for his resignation. Brizzi refused and made sure he got his pension by finishing his term.
Brizzi, whose arrogance really knows no bounds, wouldn’t rule out another run for office. Most Republicans would rather walk over hot coals than see Brizzi’s name on a ballot but Brizzi has nearly $500,000 in his campaign accounts still.
“We’ve been using it to support some candidates from around the state, those who will take it. There are some who returned it – and maybe live to fight another day,” said Brizzi.
Two Republicans who received money are City-County Council President Ryan Vaughn and Mr. Clean Ethics award recipient himself, state Sen. Mike Delph. As we write this, they are probably having their treasurers’ cut checks to return those contributions.
As for who Brizzi will support in the mayor’s race?
“I don’t know. I have a tremendous amount of respect for Mayor Ballard but I wanted to be Mayor so I’m still kind of mad I didn’t run in 2007. On the other hand, I don’t like Melina Kennedy. She ran against me—can you believe someone would do that?! But I’ve beaten her before so maybe I can run against her in 2015. Er, I mean, she’s a super-tough opponent and she’s qualified,” said Brizzi.